i got a puppy from a parking lot. i wanted a puppy/dog for a long time and then i saw this man selling puppies out of a box in the parking lot at the public market on saturday so i thought that i was supposed to have this puppy. it was a german shepard mix (just like i wanted). it felt good to hand the man the money and then to scoop up the puppy and hand him to my little boy then watch my little boy carrying our new puppy to the car, beaming the way little boys seem to beam only when they’re carrying a puppy that is slightly too big for their arms but they don’t care cuz that’s their puppy.

my puppy is afraid of everything except food. he likes all food and his cowardlyness disappears in the face of food. he even likes smoothies (not that he is permitted to have smoothies but sometimes he is sneaky).

anyways… back to the puppy being afraid of everything. i open his crate door and he just stands they, whimpers like he’s really excited, wags his tail, does these little half pouncy jumps, but refuses to exit the crate. its like there is an invisible barrier covering the crate opening that only he can see or smell.

i’m worried that Max (the puppy) will never be brave and i won’t be able to love him. what if i’m incapable of loving this perfectly cute, harmless, scared puppy? i think this might be a first world problem.

i suppose i have moments of loving him but i have more moments of playfully teasing him, telling him he’s just a big fat blob of puppy and that we’re gonna make puppy patties and puppy burgers and puppy dogs out of him. to make matters worse, there is all this pressure to love this dumb little beast because my child has formed an attachment and professes his love already. i gently proposed the idea that perhaps our puppy was defective and we could trade him in for another puppy and my boy admonished me quite severely, telling me that we have to love the puppy we have and people don’t trade in puppies.

i think i’m going to seek professional help. i’m going to the dog trainer to see if i can make my dog braver. i’m pretty sure this can work out. we’re only on day 4.

a was driving home from lunch and my phone rang so i pushed the little button on my steering wheel which allows me to use the bluetooth feature and speak on the cell phone safely (one of my most favorite things about my new prius c) and it was a man from brooklyn with an accent i couldn’t recognize. i said “hello” and he said “you know, you’re famous”. so then i wanted to know what he’d seen/heard/read about me (i’d think by now i’d be tired of it but my ego must really like all the attention cuz every time someone says they saw/heard/read about me i turn into a little kid on the inside and i get all excited and i want to see/hear/read whatever they saw/heard/read)… anyways, i felt important, driving around in my fuel efficient car, talking on my bluetooth speaker phone thing to a man who saw me on nbc, sipping my papaya pear lemon smoothie.

life doesn’t get much better than papaya pear lemon smoothies… actually, strawberry pear lemon is better.

have you ever googled yourself? i love to google people.

i want goats but i don’t want to have to take care of them. i want their milk.

adrenal glands! this morning i woke up and decided that my adrenal glands were tired and i needed to support them. licorice tea. meditation. relaxation. plenty of snuggling. hot lavender baths. celery beet juice…. those are all ways to support optimal adrenal functioning. the celery juice is supposed to balance sodium levels and correct blood pressure aberrations. cuddling reduces cortisol levels.

this entry reflects my tendency to rapidly shift attention.