P: MAMA– i’m full of fulvic acid. do i look any more fulvicky?

yes dear you do

P: i want pancakes, NOW mama

yes dear i’m typing

P: mama, stop TYPING. MAMA can you Play with me? MAMA? where’s my daddy? do all daddies have penises?

yes dear i think so i think all daddies have penises

P: what if they were chainsawing and their penises got CUT OFF? Mama? would they grow another?

i dont think so dear

P: i want to go SWIMMING in the swimming pool, Mama. in the CLEAN pool that doesn’t sting my eyes. i want to go NOW.

not now dear not now

P: MAMA

yes?

P: i think i have a fever. does 98.58 mean SICK? mama? will you make a doctors appointment for me? mama, i want to see the DOCTOR.

no dear the doctor is closed on friday

P: When can i see the doctor mama? when can i see the DOCTOR?

monday

P: when is MONDAY mama? how long until MONDAY, mama?

3 days til monday

P: how many SECONDS are there in a day, mama? are there a lot of seconds in a day, mama?

i don’t know. i’m typing.

P: STOP typing mama. stop. play with my ben 10 alien maker. which legos do you want your alien to have mama? kisses, mama, KISSES. i love you, mama. you want a bite of my brown rice PASTA mama? you WANT some?

nothanksdearpleaseleavemealone

P: can i leave you alone down here? can i stay down here while i’m leaving you alone or do i have to go up to me room?

toyourroomplease

P: but what if i don’t TALK to you and i just do gymnastics over HERE mama? is that okay? then can i stay down here with YOU MAMA?