Beautiful relationships are unfolding with the clients I’ve met and I’m feeling warmth purer and safer than before. I trust the world as never before. I have a right to live a life that displays and embraces my trust in the world. I have a right to trust men. The hostility I have received is a symptom of fear. I can’t take their fear personally, I can’t hold the weight of their fear and hostility inside my being because my being wants to do other things right now. My being wants to find joy in the physicality of our connections to one another. My being wants to celebrate our togetherness.
okay, some elaboration…
“i have a right to trust men”– not just me, we all do. we all have a right to trust one another and when we begin to believe in each others’ goodness instead of fearing each others’ “badness”, we will strive to live up to each others’ beliefs. trust is a good thing. it allows freedom. trust is present when fear is absent.
“the hostility i have received”– i’m not imagining it. i’ve been called a lying whore. i have hate voice mails. i get long emails about how i’m “worse than a prostitute”. there is an image of me posted on a website beneath which men have left dozens of comments detailing their desire to strangle me, ejaculate on my face, and perpetrate other acts of sexual violence. most recently, the chair people of the graduate program i am in at school have requested a meeting to address the idea that snuggling and social work are incompatible. i’m afraid that if i don’t stop snuggling, i won’t be permitted to get my degree. though i strive to remain unaffected, that is not entirely realistic.
“my being wants to find joy in the physicality of our connections to one another”– for a long time, i’ve been very quiet. i’ve been afraid to speak up. i’ve had a sense that i’m different and when people see who i am, they won’t understand, won’t like me. instead of continuing to allow that fear to dictate my behavior, i’m giving myself permission to be who i am and do what i love to do. i trust earth is good for me and i am good for earth.
Don’t listen to the nay sayers, listen to your heart.
Once mainstream media got a hold of you, you had no choice but be open to criticism.
And not by your own doing.
You’ll pull through. Life is too short to not do things you truly enjoy doing.
Keep the faith.
brava! keep your chin up chickey. fear and jealousy live in the hearts of those who can’t and won’t accept love. it is a hard decision to give up who you are to fit in a pigeon hole better, or to defend who you are and risk never finding a place you fit, ever. we love what you do. xox
Dont give up your dreams, let them fight you and meet your resolve. Let their fears fly away with your kind words. We believe in you and what you’re doing.
Stéphane
thanks for the positivity. i feel quiet and sure of myself; content. earlier today, i didn’t.
Look for a way to get graduate credit for snuggling! Maybe your thesis could be on ways to teach stressed clients to cope better by snuggling. The key might be transferring them from snuggling with your (or their social worker) to snuggling with someone who affects their lives in other ways.