I snuggled with an 82 year old man yesterday. I was amazed and delighted; honored. I felt like I was snuggling with history—a part of all of us. I wanted to ask him 8,000 questions. I was so close to him. I could touch the folds of his face, feel the softness of his 82-year-old-man hair on my fingers.
I can’t ever properly articulate what an amazing opportunity this has been for me. I’ve touched people I never thought I would touch. I’ve gotten into bed with them, entwined my legs with theirs, and held them in my arms. I’ve smelled their breath and felt the beat of their hearts slow as we lay next to each other. I’ve gotten closer to what it means to be human than I ever thought I could.
The problem with me has always been that I don’t speak. I don’t like to speak. I sit back and listen– feel. But in bed, there is so much to captivate me, so much more to facilitate and support a connection, besides speaking. Skin. Everyone’s skin feels so different. I can distinguish a contractor from a software programmer by their fingertips. Some men smell gentle and sweet like the powder my grandmother used to dust over my after bath time. Some men smell harsh and distinct like my brother’s cologne. Some breathe slowly and deeply immediately, others take time to settle into their breath.
I’m not sure why everything worked out so well for me.
Interviewers keep pressing the weirdness factor of what I do. Weird. Hmmm. I keep telling them that in order for change to happen, there has to be weirdness. That’s the nature of change—it is different. I’m not trying to make any radical changes here. Baby steps. We each do what we love and that is how we leave our footprint on this planet. I’m one small woman who wants to make the world a gentler place, one snuggle at a time. but that’s oversimplified. i want to be close to other human beings and learn about what it means to be human. that’s how we grow– we feed that connection, cultivate the parts we have in common with each other.
sometimes, when i do radio interviews, i have to pee. then i don’t know whether or not to flush because what if they can hear my toilet flushing on the radio?
1) I love what you are doing
2) Don’t flush
What happened to the earlier post from today? It was so eloquent and well written. I wanted to show my wife but now it is gone and I am sad….
Wow. This is some serious revealing post.
Thank you for letting us know. We lost that connection between us long ago. I wish we could snuggle, I wonder what you would think–feel about me.
Stefan
I don’t think I understood your first sentence.
My bro bookmarked this webpage for me and I have been reading through it for the past couple hrs. This is really going to benefit me and my friends for our class project. By the way, I enjoy the way you write.