i traveled today. i drove my car to the airport, got on a flight from rochester to NYC then from NYC to Paris and then from Paris to Beirut. i became increasingly nervous with each flight closer to Beirut. countless people advised me not to come here. they said it was unsafe, that there was political unrest and that Americans are not well liked in this area of the world.

my reaction to the anxiety was to sleep. i slept through every flight. on the flight from Paris to Beirut, i slept so hard it was startling and disorienting every time someone woke me up, speaking to me in French, to tell me to put my tray table up, ask me if i wanted pasta or beef, or ask me to move over so they could go to the bathroom. i had vivid dreams that seemed real but were quickly forgotten. i watched people watching me watching them watching me.

the production manager of the show was waiting for me with a sign with my name on it when i came through customs. he had me wait on the curb while he went to get the car. after he left, another car pulled up with a man that looked kind of like the first guy. the man opened his door and gestured for me to get in. i got in, thinking it was the original man. we were driving away from the airport when he asked me “where to?” and it struck me that the guy picking me up already knew where he was taking me and then i looked more carefully at the guy presently driving and became aware that i was in the wrong car. i explained this to him and he laughed and took me back. then the original guy pulled up and took me to the hotel.

i like it here. i’m at the heart of a shopping district and i found a purse i want to buy. its only 79,000 Lebanese pounds which is maybe a little more than $50… but that’s okay because there was this purse in the airport in Paris that was absolutely beautiful that i coveted for some time before inquiring about the price. that purse was $971. i was sad. so a $50 purse is like a consolation prize.

so i’m here in Beirut, i’m happy, i’ve wandered the streets, found a booth that sold delicious green mushy hot stuff on rice, ate till my belly felt adequately filled, and then raided the mini bar to find a kit kat bar. i ate it in spite of my anti-sugar policies because, i decided, i need some comfort food. being alone in a foreign country merits the consumption of comfort foods, even if they are processed and full of sugar. i think it might be hot bath-netflix-bedtime. this hotel is beautiful. everything is marble and red velvet with gold trim and the ceilings are really high with ornate crown molding and limestone pillars and balconies and blah blah blah. i want more chocolate.

i’m feeling good.